I need money for personal woman items gas in my car to take children to school groceries ,clothes ect. he says he is not a bank
I work in our family buisness and do not recieve payment.
I know nothing about our income he says its better that way.
if he left it up to me we would have no money
I am tired of not being able to go anywhere but work and my kids schools because of no money
the older kids have to buy shoes clothes and mostly anything else they need from money they get helping out in the family buisness
the kids are mad at me for never having money and tell me im not a real mom because i dont have any responsabilaties like there friends moms.
There dad says i am not smart enough to handle money
Can A Husband Control All Finances In Marriage?
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
A good marriage is a partnership. By not giving you any money he is controlling your life. By telling you you are not smart enough to handle money, he is abusing you. Your kids see something is NOT right, and are trying to tell you, but don’t know how. Get out, get out from this idiot’s control, get your children away from this jerk, (is he really the Dad model you want your kids to be like?). Your life was meant to be lived by you, so be strong and do it!
i used to be in a relationship like that. i did get out of it. i am not saying for you to get out of your marrige. maybe try and apply for part time jobs. get your own bank account and get it in to there. i think that we all need our own money. me and my now partner get our own money each week we pay the bills and rent and food and what ever is left we can do what we like with it. maybe if you just got a parttime job you will be able to use that money for yourself. also maybe try talking to him and you could even try financial counsiling. good luck with what ever you decide to do.
If you let him which you obviously are they can. You are allowing him to do it, and get away with it. Shame on you. You’re a grown woman start acting like one, and tell him it’s time to start sharing the finances or else.
Well, this should have been sorted out before the wedding. But since we are stuck with him now (For better or worse, Rich or poor), you should ask him for an allowance. You should keep receipts for everything and turn it in to him daily/weekly/monthly so he can keep track of your spending. You both could try it for a week, and if you are responsible enough, he may ease up a little.
This is psychological and financial abuse by your husband. He’s attacking your self esteem, your intellectual abilities, your credibility, he’s using you as free labor, he’s withholding money and basic needs to both you and your children, not paying you for work you do, and is undermining you as an equal partner in your marriage, financial matters, and as a mother. Your children should not have to work for their clothes, and you shouldn’t have to beg him for a single cent.
If its a “family” business…. is your name on the paperwork? If not, why not? And if not… then refuse to work without getting paid, I’m sure the other employees receive a regular wage. This guys too much…. I’d show him just how stupid I was…. and would be gone so fast, get a nasty lawyer, have all accounts and marital property frozen until it was divided properly and fairly… taking into account past due wages, and would screw him to the wall. How can you possibly love a guy thats like this with you? You’re only stupidity is putting up with a guy that makes you think you don’t deserve better.
they can, but maybe shouldn’t.
HELL NO!!!!! a marriage means to share everything and compromise everything. if he making you feel trapped make a few friends and get a life. tell him you need money for bits and pieces even if you dont, and put it aside to set yourself up……………WITHOUT HIM IN YOUR LIFE. you will be better off.
You have to know what is made yearly. You should have tax returns. Do you feel he’s doing something wrong with the money? If he gave you a salary I think that helps the family business tax wise. He could call you the “secretary” and that way Uncle Sam does not get a bigger chunk of your earnings at the end of the year. Also your kids only being able to spend the money they earn is not a bad thing. It does teach responsibility and that way there is no excess in their lives. Does one person really need 15 pairs of jeans?
And if he ever decide to walk out on you you will be left helpless
well it is up to you to change your situation
get a job outside your family business
your husband sound like a bully
he is mentally abusing you & now your kids are doing the same thing time for you to do something about it stop been their door mat
and take control of your life
First of all (depending on your state) half the money that is made in your marriage is yours regardless of how he feels (check your laws in your state if you are unsure). If you work for the family business, take care of the kids, and are his wife – you deserve some money. Don’t let him beat you down with his demeaning words and tell you or your kids crap like you aren’t “smart enough” to handle money. That is just plain abusive and is setting a bad example for your children. If he won’t change and thinks he is so right in his ways, go get another job somewhere else – not in the family business. Start your own checking account with only YOUR name on it and go from there. You should NOT have to put up with that kind of treatment – you are a grown woman and you have a brain. Everyone, regardless of their situation, needs money. He should be buying shoes and clothes for your children unless they want something expensive THEN they can work for. Don’t take abuse from your kids either – sounds you are getting it all around and you need to stand up for yourself. If things don’t change, consider some counseling so you can get some self-esteem or even consider leaving the marriage. It isn’t a pretty thought, but your situation isn’t pretty either. Good luck and PLEASE stand up for yourself!!!!
Tell him that giving you some money for your work is better than paying you alimony and child support
this is a form of abuse!, a way for him to control you so you have no choice but to do what he says.
Talk to someone in your area about getting some help, they won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.
You let him say this about you and to your kids?! Get your own money. Because if he disrespects you like this, Gosh knows what else he’s doing.
I let my husband control the finances and he spent thousands on porn – til I found out. Now we’re separated.
HERE HONEY YOU SHOULD STEP UP ION THE PLATE AND REGULATE!!! YOU SHOULD NOT LET NO MAN CONTROL YOU AND ESPECIALLY TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT SMART…. LOOK AT YOUR KIDS …. YOU OWN CHILDREN TELLIN YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE??… YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHIGN ABOUT IT AND QUICKLY!! .. TRY TO GET A JOB OUT OF THE FAMILY BUSSINESS… IF MIGHT SOUND KINDA WIERD TO NOT WORK THERE BUT AT LEAST TRY IT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
It is important for both of you to handle the finances. If he got sick, or hurt, you both would be in trouble. I have seen it too many times when a person (man or woman) lets the other person handle everything then does’t know what is going on when something happends.
As for not having any reponsiblities, a stay at home mom is worth at least $131,000 per year since they do all the cooking, cleaning, chauffuring, running errands, babysitting, etc. Let him and/or your kids try to do everything you do. If he is not giving you $, maybe you need to go on strike.
If your not smart enough to handle the money or earn $, then you aren’t smart enough to work in the family business. He can’t have it both ways.
Do you know if you leave the jerk you call a husband you can have half the business, and half of everything yall own, child support, alimony, half his retirement, ect… Kick him to the curb and dont be with someone who thinks you are stupid, you’re smart enough to know what he’s doing is bullsh*t
Sounds like you need to seek some help professionally, and get out of the relationship or y’all get marriage conselor.
Sounds like you are in an abusive, controlling relationship. Your husband needs some serious counseling. If he refuses, get a divorce.
He sounds like an a** and why are you married to him??? Leave him and take him for half and treat youself and your children to something really cool
Not an irresponsible one.
HELL NO…As a matter of fact I’m gonna let my husband answer this.
Libra: Well to be honest…I think no…it’s not a bad thing for a lady to pay some finances…that the wonder of a marriage…Me and my Bebe Violette always discuss what finances were gonna take..Don’t have him do it all…Now if he doesn’t want to you pay…then your good..I wish my girl can allow me to pay for something..lol…she buys everything…Not to say I don’t give her any< -----however way you think of this------> But i do give in and out and do things that make her feel different…so if anything like I said…She even buys me things and I have to tell her to stop and think about what she needs.
Violette: Take it from and old fart…lol..he has more experience with budgets than me..I’m learning…It’s true I spoil him rotten
it says in the bible that the man is in charge,but sometimes it just depends on how smart that man is.