I am curious because I have been mainly a stay at home mom most of my marriage. I have had a few jobs occasionally but mostly take care of the home, kids and finances. I really enjoy it. Even though we are working class, we do well for the lifestyle we are used to on one income. My husband is o.k. with this but sometimes I feel a little guilty. My 4 children are older now, 2 are not living here anymore and the other 2 are 16 and 18 and very self sufficient. I take care of all of the house cleaning and cooking, my daughter helps a little. I wonder why other wives work. Is it because you need the workplace stimulation (getting out of the house), is it because you crave luxuries and a higher class lifestyle, is it because your husband pressures you to carry some of the load or is it because of a personal work ethic or personal goals you need to fulfill. Just curious.
To Married Working Women Whose Husband’s Work Full Time: Why Do You Work?
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m glade that works for you..I was a stay at home mom but when my kids went to school there really was much for me to do..You can only do so much cleaning…I always taught my kids how to clean up after them self.,and my husband is a neat freak so when school started I decided to help add to our egg nest…. And to be honest I like work better then stay home doing nothing makes me feel like I have a life..
Many reasons. I’ve worked all my adult life and really don’t think I’d feel complete if I did not work outside the home both because of the outside stimulation and because of my own work ethic. Also my husband has a blue collar job that barely covers the bills. I don’t have any kids so it’s not like I can get together with other moms for a little female chat time and have made some very good friends through work.
I was forced to work by my husband even though I created a spreadsheet with real numbers showing him that we could afford me to stay at home with the children. I wanted to stay at home. He told me I had to work.
Needless to say, I’m am glad I stayed in the work force, because I can now support me and my children in the same lifestyle without him telling me what I can and cannot do.
I am a Social Worker and I stayed at home with my kids for the first few years and it was great and then I started going back to school. My kids are now grown and life of course has changed. I can’t imagine not working now, it would drive me crazy, but that’s just me. I’m now used to earning my own money.
Why do I work?? I have worked since my youngest was in the first grade to help bring in more money. No, I don’t crave luxuries as you put it, but I do like to eat once in awhile and put gas in my car so I can get to work, have electricity and a phone and heat in the winter. Are you kidding? Most families these days need two incomes to live on. You are very lucky if that is not your case.
I work simply because I love my job as a Physician’s Assistant. We also have a mortgage to pay and even though my husband’s pay is sufficient to cover all the bills, I would be bored to death being at home.
I have been working since high school. I enjoy it. I also work because we need the money. I stayed home for a little bit after I had the boys but not for long. I want them to have things that I did not have as a child.
It’s a sense of accomplishment for me. I didn’t spend all that money and time in college to get my degree simply to sit at home and do other things.
It’s important for our sense of self worth. It doesn’t mean we don’t want to be home, we just want to feel like we deserve it when we get there.
i admire you, you are a real woman
I work because we struggle to make ends meet even on two full time incomes. We have two children, 7 and 4 and rent a small house that’s not big enough. Neither of us went to college and don’t get paid as much as we could. If I had a choice I’d love to stay home, but I can’t cook so there’s not too much point. I’ll probably end up working until the day I die. It’s just a part of life. On top of all that, it helps me get away. At work I don’t have to worry about what kind of trouble the kids are getting into or that the house needs cleaning. I get space and enjoy my job.
My friend is lucky enough to have a husband who earns enough for the two to live very comfortably. So I asked her the same question. She replied that she knew it wasn’t financially necessary for her to be working but she liked having a part in paying for the bills, for buying the groceries, etc. And also if she wanted to get her husband a gift it would be HER money as opposed to buying him a gift out of his own money.
I work because I have a good mind and I’m working on my PhD in nursing so that I can be the dean of a university someday. My husband is training to be a surgeon. I stayed home when my daughter was first born until she was about 2, then she went to daycare which she loves to be around other kids. I would be bored to death being a stay at home mom. I really would. To each their own though, I have a tough job and a lot of people wouldnt want to do it.
some women work because they want to i have 2 kids and as soon as my son hits a year old i am going back to work full time because i like it. It makes me feel better. Plus i don’t know how much your husband makes but some family’s can not even pay bills with one income if you have not notices jobs don’t pay what it takes to live on unless you have a college degree with a great paying job. my husband would rather me be stay at home cause we are fine without it but look around how many women are left screwed because they never got out of the house and did anything for themselves and then the husbands left them.
I don’t work and I hate it! I’ve been having a lot of difficulty finding a job since I go to school full time and can’t work regular hours. It’s been a huge source of contention between my husband and I. Even though he makes enough money for us to live on, it definitely hangs over my head that I am not contributing financially since I am used to being self-sufficient. When we fight, he’ll bring it up and complain that he works 10 hours a day, etc, and I don’t, so he should pretty much get his way in everything and my opinion no longer matters (ESPECIALLY on money issues). I am not domestic and hate housework, so that’s another huge issue for us, since he thinks if I’m not working, then the house should be in perfect order and a hot dinner should be waiting for him every night. I think what he really wants is a mother, not a wife.
When I do work, my reasons for it would be that it challenges and fulfills me to do something productive and see the results of it. I want intellectual stimulation and respect/appreciation for my work, something that homemakers don’t get as much. I do crave the “outside” experience as well as the social aspects, and the independence that comes from making your own money. I have also worked since I was 14 (unless I was studying abroad or doing volunteer work), so there’s some intense Midwestern work ethic ingrained in me.
I would give anything to have a job right now so we could be on an equal playing field. Then there would be no excuse for him to not help around the house, and I could have a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction from a job well done instead of boredom and rejection from an unsuccessful job hunt. There is definitely a power struggle if you don’t make the money yourself. Props to you for staying at home though, and that your husband supports you in it. I could never (willingly) do it.